KEEPING A JOURNAL
Keeping a journal is a technique that can be helpful
in sorting and venting feelings, in identifying issues
that are creating internal stress, and in providing
insights for problem-solving. People who keep journals
record their thoughts, feelings, dreams, and whatever
else seems appropriate to them. Why do we recommend
writing in a journal?
* We carry grief inside as thoughts and feelings, where
it can get locked up and remain unresolved. Writing
can help externalize those thoughts and feelings and
can help us.
* Writing can give you a sense of your own inner healing
process as it is happening, right here and right now.
* Writing can be a way to discover inner resources you
didn't know you had, sources of strength.
Myths about Mourning
1. Grief and mourning decline in a steadily decreasing
fashion over time.
2. All
losses prompt the same type of mourning.
3. Bereaved individuals need only express their feelings
in order to resolve their mourning.
4. To be healthy after the
death of a loved one, the mourner must put that person
out of mind.
5. Grief will affect the mourner psychologically but
will not interfere in other ways.
6. Intensity and length of
mourning are a testimony to love for the deceased.
7. When one mourns a death, one mourns only the loss
of that person and nothing else.
8. Losing
someone to a sudden, unexpected death is the same as
losing someone to an anticipated death.
9. Mourning is over in a year.
GRIEF RITUALS
The value of creating " GRIEF RITUALS " is to help us
REMEMBER our loved ones in loving, healing ways, and
with a sense of peace. Too often, bereaved individuals
feel they must " hold on " to pain, seemingly forever,
in order to remember those they love. Some examples
of rituals are listed below.
* buy
a very special candle and light it at times that are
special to your loved one's memory; such as birthday,
father's day, anniversaries, etc.
* write special notes in balloons and let them go
* help feed the hungry / homeless
at Thanksgiving, holidays, etc.
* create a scrapbook of memories / photos/a memory book.
* donate
gifts, quilts, etc.. in loved ones name.
* plant a strong healthy tree or rosebush in loved one's
name.
* find a tree in the canyons
or woods, tie a yellow ribbon around, go frequently
to remember ( this is especially helpful when ashes
have been scattered and there is no gravesite).
* let balloons go along with a prayer or special wish
for a love one.
* offer a scholarship in loved
one's name.
* on birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc., buy your
loved one a gift and donate it to a hospital, nursing
home, etc......
* Christmas
stockings---- hang one up for a loved one and have everyone
write a special note to put inside.
* buy a Christmas ornament each year to remember your
loved one.
* if you go on a trip at a special anniversary time,
do something
special to remember your loved one on the trip ( such
as, toss a rose in the ocean, light a candle)
* have
a wedding ring made into a new setting for a necklace,
etc.
* have a birthday party for your loved one on his /
her birthday
* have
a family "memory" evening where you share pictures,
reminisce about special times, create a scrapbook of
memories, etc
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Hope and Help for families and friends of alcoholics.
www.al-anon-alateen.org
For Real
Straight talk for teens and parents. Celebrity endorsements
and interactive features make this a fun site. www.forreal.org
Safe Car - Carfax has an excellent program
called "Safe Teen Driving Program" .
www.carfax.com
General Information - Here is some general
info for families and friends grieving a DUI victim.
www.padui.org
States
and Territories WITH Dram
Shop Laws(43)
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California,
Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho,
Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kentucky, Maine, Massachusetts,
Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana,
New Hampshire, New, Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North
Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania,
Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah,
Vermont, Washington, Washington D.C., West Virginia,
Wisconsin, Wyoming
States
and Territories WITHOUT Dram
Shop Laws(8)
Delaware, Kansas, Louisiana, Maryland, Nebraska,
Nevada, South Dakota, Virginia
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